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September is National Suicide Prevention Month, and throughout the last few weeks, Instagram has become flooded with empowering survival stories, raising social awareness on the illness. A new hashtag, #faceofdepression, is adding an essential layer of depth to the public conversation about hidden depression symptoms, and it's one we just can't ignore.
What do depressed people look like? What does someone with suicidal thoughts appear? What does depression feels like? Of course, many of us would probably picture a crumpled-up, crying shell of a person on a bathroom floor. However, the reality that #faceofdepression is trying to explain is that people who are struggling with feeling depressed often hide it in their everyday lives - meaning that they look like just about any other person you'd pass on the street.
One of the most touching contributions to the campaign was a video shared by Talinda Bentley, widow of Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington, showing him laughing and smiling just 36 hours before his tragic suicide. Don't take everything at 'face' value. If you think or know someone is showing the signs of depression, ask the hard questions before it's too late.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7 if you or someone you know needs urgent treatment of depression. Call 1-800-273-8255 or go to their official website to live chat with a counselor.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Sam Shabadoo 7 years ago
This is really powerful! I'm a nurse and I pinned this to my nursing board so I can show my fellow nurses. Thank you for sharing your story, just by ready this I know that the world would not be as bright without you in it ❤
RELATED:
#2
varwenea 7 years ago
Chester Bennington's suicide hit me incredibly hard. Whenever I was going through dark phases or sad times, I've always turned to Linkin Park music to get me through it. His raw intensity made me feel like someone understands darkness, and that I have someone to turn to. For many of his fans, his suicide has left a void that will not be filled anytime soon. I thank his bandmates for their heartfelt tribute. Their message was spot-on.
#3
You can't tell can you? You can't tell by the look in my eyes or the sound of my voice even. You're thinking "You're smiling though!"
Yes. Yes, I am smiling. I smiled for you. I smiled so I don't make you feel bad. I don't want you to feel like I do. I also don't want you to feel like there is something you can do to make me "feel better".
There isn't anything anyone can do. I have to work through it on my own. The worst part is that this bout snuck up on me. I recognize the familiarity of it all though.
Empty
Lonely
Heavy
Tired
So tired
Everything is loud
Everything is annoying
I have no patience
I want to be left alone
I want to stay in bed
I don't want to work out
I want to eat everything without cooking anything
The best part is that I haven't felt like this in a very long time AND that I recognize it for what is. I'm the one who bakes and does crafts. You see that on the outside but you don't see the darkness inside.
For those that are also suffering....PLEASE SEEK HELP. Treatment is different for each person. Do what is best for you. I'm doing what works for me while I get back to Monique. So for now - I smile, and let people know I'm struggling.
sh 7 years ago
THIS! She describes it so well... "The worst part is that this bout snuck up on me. I recognize the familiarity of it all though. Empty Lonely Heavy Tired So tired Everything is loud Everything is annoying I have no patience I want to be left alone I want to stay in bed I don't want to work out I want to eat everything without cooking anything "
#4
My daughter as well. The night before she ended up in the hospital they went to the daddy daughter dance and had an amazing time. Thankfully she's still alive today and learning to beat her illness. She was 8 at the time
Aurelia Grey 7 years ago
Mercy. Hurts to look at her, hurts to learn how young she was, I hope things are better.
#6
This is my son , right before going to his computer to look up how to properly hang himself. Two days later he followed through.
JillVille Child Care 7 years ago
I am so sorry :( I could not imagine the loss of a child this way. I have 4 teenagers. My heart is breaking for your family.
#7
#8
This is depression in our home. I tried to hang myself in my attic when the board broke and I broke thru the ceiling alerting my family. I fight every day. My husband tries his best but can't break through. I don't understand it. I don't know why I can't get rid of it. I have a wonderful family. I feel selfish, lost, sick and angry at myself. My brain has always been a little scrambled and I've fought just to make it thru school, I can't keep a job. I can't stay in task long enough or I take too long. I leave before I get fired. It's hard to feel worthless and I hate feeling like a burden to my family. I have so much pain inside. I'm in therapy I have meds. All I know is even though I feel like suicide would make life easier for my family, I also feel like if I could just get my head fixed and could be someone worthy, I really would like to stay around. I have been trying for so long I don't know if it's gonna happen for me. Today I am here. We will see how tomorrow goes tomorrow. I take it day for day and some times hour by hour. Sometimes i think If I can get through one more hour I'll go to bed and I'll sleep til tomorrow and see how it goes. Today has been ok. I'm trying to find something good today to give hope for tomorrow. Today I try.
Caroline Huot 7 years ago
Not just hour by hour honey... minute by minute, second by second!! I've been there... Take care xx
#9
My #faceofdepression and yes it is possible to be depressed with a child.
Hearing, "You don't have a reason to be depressed with her around" doesn't do shit but make me feel worse about myself
Being told, "All you need is exercise and a good diet" just makes me want to throat punch you even though you're coming from a good place
Depression keeps you from doing things you want to do because it's literally a chemical imbalance in your brain.
Elaine Van Zon 7 years ago
yes ,been there, well meaning people saying utterly stupid things. I hate " We've all been there" They are trying to make us feel they understand but succeed only in showing how little they understand. No you havn't been there - you have NO idea. Your daughter is adorable ,you are doing a great and brave job as her Mum. I pray you find something that will ease your pain and make your smile real on the inside too
#10
This is my boyfriend two weeks before hanging himself. Will never understand it...
#11
This is what depression looked like not long before we lost our beloved Luke. Depression is a SERIOUS illness. Don't dismiss people who are hurting.
Nini 7 years ago
Depression is like a worm, crawling under your skin and eating your flesh without anybody noticing. Because no one cares about what's inside of you. And everybody overreacts when something's seeable. But when "something" is noticeable is when you need people not to see, then you smile, every time for no reason, so they won't ask what you don't want to talk about. Because no matter what, when and whoever pretends to be here for you, everything looks fake, sounds wrong, and it hurts to realize how much you suck at life. And someday, it becomes too painful, you want to run away but everything's the same wherever you go. This is at that point that "suicide", "silence" and "darkness" start to look sweet, inspiring, necessary. Depression is a worm that deforms reality and makes "freedom" and "peace" rhyme with "death". I feel sorry for y'all, I wish your beloveds could have found a better way to relieve themselves from this pain.
#14
Bipolar disorder here,(with a heavy emphasis on the depression side)...I get up, put on a full face of makeup, wear a fun dress, all while struggling with depression, anxiety and sometimes suicidal thoughts..
#15
Currently at the doctor seeking help, most have no idea what I'm going through and that I cry in the shower or in the car on my way home from work or can't sleep at night because of panic attacks
#19
Major Depression & PPD here. 3 weeks pp with #2 & going to the doctor is helping. Most times I feel like I'm drowning but last couple of days it's been easier. Sometimes just talking about it can be cathartic. PLEASE seek help if you need it. It's not failure. Sometimes you just need a little more time to get your shit together and that's ok, because being a functional parent is hard fucking work.
Jenna Bois 7 years ago
You need to take care of you to be the best parent you can. I'm glad you're finding talk therapy helping. You got this :)
#22
Meagan Collette 7 years ago
I get you; I struggle with feeling like a failure every time I need to go back on medication.
#23
The face of depression. Sometimes it looks optimistic. Sometimes it doesn't. And having a smart, beautiful child doesn't mean those feelings don't exist or that they're not valid. She loves me on my good days and my bad days.
Jenna Bois 7 years ago
I identify with this so much. Even on the bad days I find a reason to go on in my daughter. Because she just sees her mom, not the depression.
#24
I suffer from fybromyalgia, arthritis and anxiety. The years have been a struggle.
Final score:
44points
JillVille Child Care 7 years ago
You are so beautiful! Love your eyes, definitely a caring emotional person in there :)
#25
Sarah Laurent 7 years ago
People need you, and love you, I promise. Even while crying, in bed, red wine or whatever ;)
#26
Alžběta Laurincová 7 years ago
I know it won't help you, but you are a very beuatiful woman! I love your eyes.
#28
#29
When people think about depression, they tend to have a very specific idea of how it manifests itself. I'm in the middle of a very real depressive episode and here I am at work with my plants and headphones
#30
I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for years and years. I started experiencing symptoms around 12 and wasn't diagnosed or treated until I was 25. (Early on docs told me I didn't seem depressed.) Once my kiddo was born, my postpartum depression fused with my everyday depression and I almost lost it. It was my dream to be a happy SAHP, and even though I stayed home for over a year, I felt worse and worse every day. It took all of my energy to make sure my baby was taken care of. I developed severe sleep apnea, gained a lot of weight, and couldn't function outside of my parental duties.
#31
Depressed since high'school, drop'out, one suicide attempt, severely agoraphobic. In my country having a mental illness means that "Your parents didn't beat you enough", or, "Your husband should throw you out of the house, maybe then you'll get a job". So I learned to smile even in my worst days.
Final score:
30points
Réka Viczián 7 years ago
It's not just your country, middle-and-east europe still has room for improvement in the field of mental illnesses. I hope you have more good days than bad and wish you strength to get to the good ones!
#32
Final score:
30points
Jess (Submission author) 7 years ago
Me, Two Days After A Failed Suicide Attempt. People Don’t “Look” Depressed, Because Depression Isn’t A Facial Expression.
#33
Final score:
28points
Steffi Klein (Submission author) 7 years ago
Stuck in a panic attack, yes, that's sweat running down my Face. Battling for 15 years now, the fearless good times in between two bad phases are the reason I'm still fighting. Nevertheless I'm tired to explain what a panic attack feels like or what the reasons are I'm suffering from this disease. It's not my fault and I don't want to feel guilty anymore.
#34
GAD and depression for probably two decades. My childhood nickname was "smiley". My positive attitude gets remarked on often. My brain still fires weird regardless.
#35
I have suffered from depression for more than 2 thirds of my life. Think about that. Most of my life has been in pain and misery. Most of my life has been spent fighting my demons of suicidal ideation and convincing myself to stay, to keep fighting. There are days, even now, that I can draft my goodbye note in my head. There are days I can almost convince myself that my son and my family could be better off without me. Yet, this is no way makes me an unfit mother. One thing I never fail at for my son is loving him. Showing him he is loved. I know some of you say "you shouldn't have children if you are mentally ill" and to you I say: Eat a bag of dicks. My son saved my life. My son saves my life every day. I will not keep from him that I am sick when he is old enough to understand. I'd rather he see me battle my mind, than think even a fraction of my pain was caused by him.
#36
Final score:
25points
Lieke Van Kinderen (Submission author) 7 years ago
Got diagnosed with borderline a few months ago. Hard to hear but all fell into place. The depressions are hard, very hard. Thankfully i've been diagnosed, got a great counselor and am attending group-therapy. Keep strong everyone and thank you all for sharing your stories.
#37
Final score:
23points
CelSlade (Submission author) 7 years ago
Two months after attempting suicide - while I was considering trying again daily. Everyone who meets me and who I tell I have depression say: 'You don't seem the type!' There is no type.
#38
The last images we have of my eldest son's father. Mother's day 2012. We felt he was making improvements, but Jesse completed suicide June 12, 2012.
Final score:
23points
#39
About three hours before a massive panic attack that ultimately ended in self harm.
Final score:
20points
#40
When you put on your war face but inside is where the battle happens.
Final score:
19points
#41
I never feel normal, accepted or accepted. I struggle always. I'm thankful for my support.
Final score:
19points
Ivelina Gancheva 7 years ago
Dude, you cool, you remind me of the singer Banks visually. Be strong!
#42
The guy in red was my dad, less than 2 months before he took his life. He was 60 years old. He told us as kids that he had to talk himself out of suicide every day. He succeeded, but not without letting every one of his loved ones know how much he loved us. I miss him terribly, he will never get to meet my kids or walk me down the isle.
Final score:
19points
#44
Taken few days ago... Face of depression, anxiety, ednos, bpd and suicidal thoughts. I'm ashmed
Final score:
17points
#45
Depressed for years, nobody noticed till last year, it’s amazing how depression can hide.
Final score:
15points
#46
Decided to get out of bed for the first time in months to look nice for a picture.
Final score:
13points
Chantelle Dixie 7 years ago
Scarlet Johannson is that you? (Don't know if I spelt her name correctly) you do remind me of her but I hope you can fight through this tough time I'm struggling atm
#47
This is what depression and anxiety looks like. I was in a bad place. I am fine now, but sometimes it comes back, and I hate it. Luckily I have got a support system around me that helps me through when out gets bad. But most people would never have guess when I struggle!
Final score:
12points
#48
"Depression? But you're young and smart" they say. And here I am with 11 suicide attempts.
Final score:
12points
awesome_sauce.71 7 years ago
you are very pretty! I want to grow up and be as pretty as you and maybe my moms.It will all be okay
#49
Anxiety and depression for many years, I put a mask on I guess at times and try to make out I'm the fun, smiling happy one, but what goes on inside is darker at times. Worry so much about things, its like the end of the world when changes happen. I get paniced by things, angry and distant or I breakdown and cry. Its not only mental but physical too, ibs and stress symptoms that make me feel weak and tired. My artistic part of my brain does help break things up time to time, a way of expressing something that I cant feel. I wish at times I could eventually feel more in control, but then I'd be scared of that feeling.
Final score:
12points
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What do you think ?
Kjorn 7 years ago
my wife struggle with that for so many time and even after spend one month in psych ward still waiting to get so therapy. it's hard to see in what state she is and harder for me to realise i can't do more to help her. Since it's take a toll to me as well. she often criticise the fact that i didn't talk much of my hard day, but how can i even whining about my day when she can't even get out of bed. I try the best i can to make her happy to be supportive to do the much i can and even then i felt guilty of not doing enough. It's hard but each time i saw i smile at me it's Worth all the effort i put in. People must not forget that even if they feel alone they're not.
Elaine Van Zon 7 years ago
She is lucky to have you . I have depression but also have lived with depressed people. Both are hard. You are doing all you can and trying to understand and not walking away .Bless you both. I really hope she gets helpful therapy soon.
Load More Replies...
Paladin of Shadows 7 years ago
This hits me hard, I'm a Sophomore in high school and I've been depressed since 6th grade.... nobody knew until last year, and it took a crappy outpatient hospital program for my parents to see
lazy panda 7 years ago
Whoever downvoted you is a d**k. I completely understand what you are going through though. My parents refused to believe I actually had depression until I went to a counselor in college one day and told her I wanted to die. Even then, my dad thought I just wanted to quit school. Listen, please know you are not alone and that you do not have to fight alone. There are so many resources including apps that offer a safe place for you to just talk without judgment or whatever may be on your mind. I am in no way religious, but the app "The Hope Line" actually saved my life once. Just do your research and continue fighting the good fight. You've got this!
Load More Replies...
Cristina Dumitrescu 7 years ago
I have been dealing with depression and anxiety attacks for over 10 years and got medicated for it twice so far. It wasn't easy to come forward because I felt it was my fault, something was wrong with me for feeling that way, but I was so broken down that I didn't care if lived or not, and that was alarming even for my depressed mind. Didn't have thoughts of ending my life, but I sure wouldn't have minded if I went to bed and didn't wake up the next morning. I chose to seek help, I was so tired of being tired all the time, catatonic, angry, worried, irrational, have no energy or finding joy in anything. The meds alone weren't enough, so I went to a therapist as well. This is a stigma that needs to end for the sake of us all. It's an illness like any other illness, the fact that you can't see it all the time doesn't make it less dangerous. I hope everyone who's dealing with this can find their strength to ask for help - I promise you that you matter and people care about you <3
Rafaella Bueno 7 years ago
I'm glad the help you got actually seemed to have helped you. I've been to therapy many times, with a few different doctors, and tried a few meds a few times, nothing ever really helped me. I admit I'm somehow much better today than years ago, mostly thanks to a few friends, my dog, and focusing on things like work, but I can't see myself ever not being anxious and depressed. I hardly ever actually enjoy anything, I just don't feel anything anymore. I got a lot better at reacting and hiding the problem, but the feelings didn't really change much from back them - I'm just changing from the cliché depressed to these people in the photos that hide it well.
Load More Replies... Kjorn 7 years ago
my wife struggle with that for so many time and even after spend one month in psych ward still waiting to get so therapy. it's hard to see in what state she is and harder for me to realise i can't do more to help her. Since it's take a toll to me as well. she often criticise the fact that i didn't talk much of my hard day, but how can i even whining about my day when she can't even get out of bed. I try the best i can to make her happy to be supportive to do the much i can and even then i felt guilty of not doing enough. It's hard but each time i saw i smile at me it's Worth all the effort i put in. People must not forget that even if they feel alone they're not.
Elaine Van Zon 7 years ago
She is lucky to have you . I have depression but also have lived with depressed people. Both are hard. You are doing all you can and trying to understand and not walking away .Bless you both. I really hope she gets helpful therapy soon.
Load More Replies... Paladin of Shadows 7 years ago
This hits me hard, I'm a Sophomore in high school and I've been depressed since 6th grade.... nobody knew until last year, and it took a crappy outpatient hospital program for my parents to see
lazy panda 7 years ago
Whoever downvoted you is a d**k. I completely understand what you are going through though. My parents refused to believe I actually had depression until I went to a counselor in college one day and told her I wanted to die. Even then, my dad thought I just wanted to quit school. Listen, please know you are not alone and that you do not have to fight alone. There are so many resources including apps that offer a safe place for you to just talk without judgment or whatever may be on your mind. I am in no way religious, but the app "The Hope Line" actually saved my life once. Just do your research and continue fighting the good fight. You've got this!
Load More Replies... Cristina Dumitrescu 7 years ago
I have been dealing with depression and anxiety attacks for over 10 years and got medicated for it twice so far. It wasn't easy to come forward because I felt it was my fault, something was wrong with me for feeling that way, but I was so broken down that I didn't care if lived or not, and that was alarming even for my depressed mind. Didn't have thoughts of ending my life, but I sure wouldn't have minded if I went to bed and didn't wake up the next morning. I chose to seek help, I was so tired of being tired all the time, catatonic, angry, worried, irrational, have no energy or finding joy in anything. The meds alone weren't enough, so I went to a therapist as well. This is a stigma that needs to end for the sake of us all. It's an illness like any other illness, the fact that you can't see it all the time doesn't make it less dangerous. I hope everyone who's dealing with this can find their strength to ask for help - I promise you that you matter and people care about you <3
Rafaella Bueno 7 years ago
I'm glad the help you got actually seemed to have helped you. I've been to therapy many times, with a few different doctors, and tried a few meds a few times, nothing ever really helped me. I admit I'm somehow much better today than years ago, mostly thanks to a few friends, my dog, and focusing on things like work, but I can't see myself ever not being anxious and depressed. I hardly ever actually enjoy anything, I just don't feel anything anymore. I got a lot better at reacting and hiding the problem, but the feelings didn't really change much from back them - I'm just changing from the cliché depressed to these people in the photos that hide it well.
Load More Replies...
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